I joined Weight Watchers for the first time when I was 17-years-old. Back then I had maybe 40 pounds to lose. I lost some if it, but not all, and eventually gained back what I had lost in spades. Fast forward thirteen years. I had joined and quit WW a total of 17 times (no joke). I just couldn’t get it together enough to lose the weight and was disgusted at the 300-plus pound self I saw in the mirror. I joined WW again and this time I saw success.
At least until this summer.
Nathan and I bought our first house this summer. I thought buying a house would be fun. I’m a born snoop and loved the thought walking through other peoples’ homes while they’re gone and getting to open up cabinets, closets and drawers. I had no idea I’d walk into every house and see flaws everywhere. Flaws I couldn’t possibly live with and didn’t want to have to fix. During one Saturday our realtor took us to 14 different homes. We just weren’t finding a house that fit. My mother likened the process to searching for the perfect wedding dress and I agreed. We would know the house when we saw it.
That being said, the entire process was stressful and I dealt with that stress by eating. I gained 10 pounds over the summer and haven’t quite gotten back into the “program” as WW puts it. As of last March I had successfully lost 81 pounds and had faithfully attended every Saturday meeting. I proudly displayed my 25, 50 and 75-pounds-lost magnets on my refrigerator.
Lately I’ve been skipping meetings left and right. One night last week I came home and microwaved 20 Bagel Bites for dinner. I’ve been trying to medicate myself with food and it’s not working. I’m skipping my exercise, opting to stay in bed an hour longer in the morning. I don’t want to worry about planning my meals because I’ve got to worry about getting my homework done.
But I have a Columbia parka in my closet.
Columbia does not make extended size parkas for women. They do for men, but not women. I guess the folks at Columbia are too busy putting money into their clever print ads and not enough into research that shows there are women out there who are large and would like to be able to wear one of their coats. I’ve always wanted a Columbia parka but was always too big to get into one.
This past spring I found one on clearance at Younkers. It was an XL and didn’t quite fit but I was convinced it would by the time I’d need to wear it. I was so convinced I would lose the weight that I gave away the winter coat I had. So now that parka, all bright yellow and navy blue, taunts me every time I open the hall closet. I’m proud of the weight I’ve lost so far and am thankful that I haven’t gained more than 10 pounds back, but I want to get into that coat. I don’t know if that’s going to happen this year. It’s the middle of September. We might be lucky and not get much snow before Christmas, but I’m going to need something soon. Nathan’s so cute. He’s convinced I can lose the weight I need to get into the coat by winter. Gotta love that optimism.
So the struggle now is to not let the stress and depression get to me. The stress is only going to increase the further I get into the semester and the closer it gets to the holidays. We’re having Thanksgiving at our house this year, which means we’ll have to keep the patio furniture out on the deck well into November. My dad’s allergic to cats.
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